I just submitted the revision of my Research Design to my instructor. The Research Design is chapter one of the senior thesis, only in proposal form. I received feedback from the first draft over the weekend, but it took me until tonight to gather the strength to do the necessary editing. As a result, I don't have much brain power left. I'm just thankful to the Lord that He is giving me hours here and there to work on the thesis. I have a month to write the entire "first thesis" (all four chapters) . Amazing!
As Mom said, the reality of "beginning" the journey with HPS is settling in and it's difficult to comprehend, even almost two years later. I've heard people say that "time heals wounds". Well, wounds come in all forms and I'm convinced that time doesn't really heal heart wounds. Some days now are just as sobering as the day I was first diagnosed with HPS. The difference is that now I know what the new "normal" is for our family. And with each flare-up, we are learning more and more how to manage my body.
It's only the Lord- either through Him directly or by His working in humans- that heals heart wounds. I'm also learning what it means to keep going in the Lord's strength, especially when I don't see progress or physical healing with my earthly eyes. I've had friends exclaim to me, "You have so much faith!" My faith can and does, from time to time, waver just like yours. Chuck Swindoll said yesterday on a radio sermon, "We won't reach perfection until Heaven, but that shouldn't keep us from trying".
And on that point, it's my turn to read the book that so encouraged Mom. After visiting the Harmony Outreach website and looking at the children's pictures, I wanted to either adopt or sponsor a baby from China!
Dear Kathryn,
ReplyDeleteWhat you said in the second half of the second paragraph is something I know a bit about. I still experience the sobering moments when my ailing heart rudely reaquaints me with my mortality.
I too am learning. The last decade has forced me to learn more and more about relaxing, and discovering areas in which I didn't even know I was tense, both physically and emotionally.
I don't share your beliefs, so I find no comfort there. I see stories about such things, and all I can think is wouldn't-it-be-neat-if. Some of what I recently read in The Chronicles of Narnia have stirred that thought.
The one area from which I have derived a measure of peace that I hadn't known before is the relaxation, and knowing my own heart (emotionally) much better than in earlier decades.
As always, I hope you're having a good day.
With love and fondness,
Mike
Kathryn, I was able to get on
ReplyDeleteAimee's computer again today, as you see, and read your post and nephew Mike's. I know that both of us are praying for HIS healing, soul, mind and body. Both of us know the reality the GENUINE REALITY of God touching us in very supernatural ways, to heal us physically and emotionally. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to comtemplate years of the kind of struggle that you have had the last two years. However I believe that Jesus told you that you WOULD get a combination of medicines that would help you live a more or less normal, functioning life much of the time, and that time surely must be coming. Am I right that He said that to you? and His promises have NEVER failed. So I'm really going to be praying that those days will start SOON! And that in the meantime, out of His infinite riches in Jesus, that the Father will continue to strengthen you with might, through His Spirit in your inner being, that Christ may live in your heart through faith...that you may know...how long and wide and high and deep is the love of Christ...that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do immeasureably abundantly, ABOVE ALL WE ASK OR EVEN IMAGINE! to Him be glory in the church, before all ages and forever and ever! Amen Eph.3:12 +
And for dear Mike, our faith can be and will be yours one day. Jesus is REAL, and is THERE, AND HERE. He will make Himself known to you if you begin to sincerely ask Him to, day after day, and He will take you beyond the pain of your youth and chilhood. He is the God for whom ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE, even you. In fact for Him it is very easy, he just waits for you. Much love to you both, Aunt Lil