There's a topic I've wanted to journal about for several days now. As I've stated before, Mom and I are doing a Beth Moore Bible study titled Stepping Up. One of last week's Bible lessons focused on Psalm 123:3-4 which reads, "Have mercy on us, O Lord, have mercy on us for we have endured much contempt. We have endured much ridicule from the proud, much contempt from the arrogant".
Did you know that the Hebrew term translated "contempt," comes from the root word that means, "to disrespect"? Likewise, the Hebrew word for "mercy" is translated to mean, "God's favor, kindness, and grace". This lesson taught how God is the very best one to go to (instead of humans) when we experience disrespect or ridicule from others. The Lord desires a relationship with us- and a relationship means allowing Him to hear the joys of our heart, as well as the sorrows. If we have indeed been dealt with unjustly, then God will treat us with the kindness and grace we need to heal our hearts.
This lesson also cautioned against being a person that displays disrespect or ridicule to others by the words, tones, expressions or manners we use. Disrespect "disregards innate human value," but ridicule is particularly hurtful. Beth Moore states, "A constant dose of ridicule can be hard to swallow. It's difficult enough for mature adults, but I'd like to suggest that ridicule can be toxic for children and adolescents. Even deadly!"
Now, to why I chose to title this post "Childhood Lessons". I do have painful childhood memories of toxic insults, often done in the name of "teasing," or "sarcasm". Thankfully, those negative childhood memories did not come from my family. One of the ways my Mom and Dad parented intentionally was in that they did not tolerate ridicule, teasing, or sarcasm in their household. From an early age, we were given encouragement and "truth in love". Our conversations were not boring with the lack of ridicule, teasing, and sarcasm. Quite the contrary! We had "fun" without emotionally hurting each other.
I added sarcasm to the above paragraph because, in my opinion, it's often ridicule with just another name. Sarcasm hurts just as deeply as words that are meant to inflict injury, shame, and harm. Sarcasm disguises the truth. A person can hide how they really feel by simply stating, "I was just being sarcastic". Out of curiosity, I decided to look up the word "sarcasm" on Merriam-Webster Online. The first definition states, "A sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain".
My first experiences of sharing words that encourage instead of using ridicule, teasing, or sarcasm are childhood memories that I am honored to remember to this day. I firmly believe one of the reasons why my parents are still my closest friends today is because of their intentional desire to speak "blessings" instead of "curses" to me as a child. Beth Moore's Bible lesson only confirmed what I learned growing up in the Campbell household.
Did you know that the Hebrew term translated "contempt," comes from the root word that means, "to disrespect"? Likewise, the Hebrew word for "mercy" is translated to mean, "God's favor, kindness, and grace". This lesson taught how God is the very best one to go to (instead of humans) when we experience disrespect or ridicule from others. The Lord desires a relationship with us- and a relationship means allowing Him to hear the joys of our heart, as well as the sorrows. If we have indeed been dealt with unjustly, then God will treat us with the kindness and grace we need to heal our hearts.
This lesson also cautioned against being a person that displays disrespect or ridicule to others by the words, tones, expressions or manners we use. Disrespect "disregards innate human value," but ridicule is particularly hurtful. Beth Moore states, "A constant dose of ridicule can be hard to swallow. It's difficult enough for mature adults, but I'd like to suggest that ridicule can be toxic for children and adolescents. Even deadly!"
Now, to why I chose to title this post "Childhood Lessons". I do have painful childhood memories of toxic insults, often done in the name of "teasing," or "sarcasm". Thankfully, those negative childhood memories did not come from my family. One of the ways my Mom and Dad parented intentionally was in that they did not tolerate ridicule, teasing, or sarcasm in their household. From an early age, we were given encouragement and "truth in love". Our conversations were not boring with the lack of ridicule, teasing, and sarcasm. Quite the contrary! We had "fun" without emotionally hurting each other.
I added sarcasm to the above paragraph because, in my opinion, it's often ridicule with just another name. Sarcasm hurts just as deeply as words that are meant to inflict injury, shame, and harm. Sarcasm disguises the truth. A person can hide how they really feel by simply stating, "I was just being sarcastic". Out of curiosity, I decided to look up the word "sarcasm" on Merriam-Webster Online. The first definition states, "A sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain".
My first experiences of sharing words that encourage instead of using ridicule, teasing, or sarcasm are childhood memories that I am honored to remember to this day. I firmly believe one of the reasons why my parents are still my closest friends today is because of their intentional desire to speak "blessings" instead of "curses" to me as a child. Beth Moore's Bible lesson only confirmed what I learned growing up in the Campbell household.
Kathryn, What a beautiful post!!!! Thank you so much for sharing what you are learning, (more so confirming :) in your Beth Moore Bible Study! Sharing the 'truth in love' is such a vital aspect in our relating to others. Your post was a real encouragement to me, as well as a good reminder. "Iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." (Proverbs 27:17) Thanks for being my iron! *grin* Love you! ~Ef
ReplyDeleteSome of this strikes a chord with me. When I was a child, I suffered from self-confidence and other issues that made me socially vulnerable. As a result, I endured a fair amount of being picked on by other kids.
ReplyDeleteA big part of the problem is that not nearly enough people have ever taken the problem seriously. And it's so common that a lot of people don't even feel that there's a real problem.
We have all kinds of labels for abuse of one kind or another. Child abuse, elder abuse, spouse abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse, etc. But nothing for this common and pervasive variety. Well, I have one:
Call it SOCIAL ABUSE.
It need not be limited to the verbal; it can include any kind of picking on, including schoolyard bullying, and it need not be limited to childhood. I've felt for over a decade that if this label were popularized and understood- without rearranging the definition for political reasons (i.e., using it to label those who criticize for good reasons (involving deliberate choice))- then maybe more people would take the problem more seriously.
I for one am sick of people (and indulging parents, in the case of kids) who condone those who engage in such cruelty and excuse themselves for it by saying: "I was just jokin'." (Mom could mention a Biblical analogy to this which concludes with the offender saying (in the King James Version): "Am I not in sport?" My response: "You am NOT, bub.")
I'm getting off my soapbox and shutting up now...
Mike
Thank you for your post. It was very convicting to me. I grew up in a household where joking and sarcasm were the norm. Our pastor is teaching us from the book of James and a few weeks ago he was preaching on James 4:11-12. Here it talks about slandering one another.He was saying how we slander others in order to raise ourselves up to be better than someone else and also to be better than God. We tend to put ourselves on the Throne!
ReplyDeleteSarcasm and slander are two areas that were a very big part of my up-bringing. It is also one of the hardest areas to parent in. Like Mike said it's not really considered much of a problem in our society.
I have been praying Micah 6:8 over Laura and James for sometime now.It says:'He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.' These are the things I pray for my children to learn and to act upon.
Thank you for speaking Truth over us.
We continue to pray for you daily.
with much love,
Sara